Posts

The Unexpected Path That Led Me to Japan As I approached my senior year of high school, I debated which colleges to apply to. I planned to apply to the University of Hawaiʻi as a backup—because that’s what everyone did—but I was mainly interested in schools on the West Coast. I could fully imagine myself in Oregon or Washington. There was already a blueprint available, so it was easy to picture myself setting up my dorm room, performing hula at the annual lūʻau, and widening my circle of (most likely Asian American) friends. ...

People always seem to be quite wary about long distance relationships, and for valid reasons. It usually comes down to a cost-benefit analysis; wondering whether the short amount of time you do have together is worth the time spent apart and loneliness and challenges that come with distance. And there is no right answer; there’s just too many unknown variables. The Start of Our Long Distance Relationship But as a stupid 18 year old I didn’t even think twice and I had just accepted it as a chapter of our relationship that we’d just have to get through. I knew that choosing to live abroad in Japan meant that a long distance relationship would be inevitable, but like any naive high schooler I thought that love conquered all. Even though my mom nudged me to break things off before I moved to Japan, I was as stubborn as ever, and even slightly insulted that she would even bring it up. In retrospect I know she was just trying to protect me from the inevitable heartbreak, but I couldn’t see it at the time. ...

The Myth of ‘Finding Yourself’ I got to thinking about what it means to ‘find yourself.’ I naively thought this was something you only had to do once, and once you figured it out, it’d be smooth sailing. I had the typical story arc and I thought I was close to ‘finding myself.’ It had been almost 10 years since I moved to Japan and I had finally moved to the big city, got my first big girl job, and got married. I thought I had it all figured out, and from the outside it must have looked that way. Sure, my job was not easy and I didn’t like it very much, but I thought eventually I’d find my groove. You know, the way they do in the movies right before everything in their lives comes together and they live happily ever after. ...